Sleep2–7 yrs
Child waking up at night? Nightmares vs night terrors explained
It is 2.13 am. A scream from the kids’ room, and you are in the hallway before you are even awake. Is your child waking up at night? You are in good company: almost every parent of a little one knows this scene. The good news is that you can usually work out what is going on, and staying calm helps more than anything.
In short
- Young children wake for many ordinary reasons: colds, changes, fears or simply needing closeness.
- Nightmares usually happen late in the night; your child wakes up and can be comforted.
- Night terrors happen early in the night; your child is not truly awake and should not be woken.
- Seek advice if sleep is poor for a long time, night terrors are frequent, or your child snores with breathing pauses.
Why is my child waking up at night?
It is completely normal for toddlers and preschoolers to wake up now and then. According to 1177, Sweden’s public health guide, your child may be looking for closeness and security, or something may be bothering them: a cold, new teeth, needing a wee or growing pains. Threadworms and teeth grinding can also disturb sleep.
Change matters too. Starting preschool, moving house or a new sibling can bring a period of restless nights. And around ages three to five, as imagination grows, fears of monsters and the dark are common. Read more in our guide for when your child is afraid of the dark.
Nightmares in children: what is going on?
Nightmares are a normal part of child development, says 1177. They become more frequent during times of change or when a child is ill with a fever. In the preschool years they are often about ghosts, monsters, burglars or the dark. From about five, dreams become more realistic.
Nightmares usually come late in the night. Your child truly wakes up, feels scared, often remembers the dream and wants comfort.
How to help after a nightmare
- Go in calmly and comfort your child until they settle a little.
- Say briefly that it was a dream and that you are here.
- Rather than arguing that monsters are not real, listen.
- Talk about the dream the next day if your child wants to, for example by drawing it.
Night terrors: screaming, but not awake
Night terrors look dramatic to parents. Your child may scream, look terrified, flail their arms or push you away, and seem awake but not respond. According to 1177 they are most common between 3 and 12, and the UK’s NHS says especially between about 3 and 8.
Night terrors usually happen early in the night, around an hour after falling asleep, during deep sleep. An episode lasts from one to twenty minutes. Then your child falls back asleep and usually remembers nothing in the morning. 1177 is clear: night terrors are not dangerous.
What to do during a night terror
- Do not wake your child. They may become more confused and upset.
- Stay calmly nearby and make sure they cannot hurt themselves.
- Wait it out. Your child often settles back to sleep on their own.
- Think about triggers: 1177 mentions stress, fever, lack of sleep and needing a wee.
Tip from the Lillmoln team
Do the night terrors come at the same time every night? 1177 describes a trick: for about a week, note when your child falls asleep and when the episode starts. Then gently wake your child 15 to 30 minutes before the usual time, just enough for them to open their eyes. The NHS describes a similar approach.
How can you tell a nightmare from a night terror?
| Nightmare | Night terror | |
|---|---|---|
| When | Usually late, towards morning | Usually early, about an hour after falling asleep |
| Is your child awake? | Yes, fully awake | No, seems awake but is not |
| Can you comfort them? | Yes, they often want closeness | Hard, they may push you away |
| Remembered in the morning? | Often | Usually not |
| What you do | Comfort, talk about it the next day | Do not wake, wait calmly nearby |
How do you help your child get back to sleep?
Whatever woke your child, the goal is the same: a calm, short and boring pause, so sleep can take over again.
- Keep the light low. Skip the ceiling lamp. A dim night light is enough.
- Talk little and quietly. “I’m here. It’s night-time. Now we sleep.”
- A light hand. 1177 suggests resting your hand on your child and removing it as they start to drift off.
- Something that smells safe. A cuddly toy, a comfort blanket or a piece of a parent’s clothing can help.
- The same response every night. Predictability soothes more than long chats at 3 am.
The day matters too. An overtired child often sleeps more restlessly, and according to 1177, children who learn to fall asleep on their own in the evening often find it easier to settle back at night. A calm bedtime routine and enough sleep for their age (see how much sleep children need) are a good foundation.
A bed your child loves is a nice start for calmer nights. Our piece of it is the Lillmoln Kudde: a comfort pillow in three sizes, one per age: 1–3, 3–8 and 8–16 years, with a washable cover and Moln to say goodnight to.
Four-year-old Alva woke every night for two weeks after her baby brother arrived. What helped was not a trick, but Dad going in each time, saying the same three sentences and leaving again. After a while, a hug at bedtime was enough.
When should you seek advice?
Most sleep problems in children pass on their own. Sometimes, though, it is worth getting help.
Contact your child health centre (BVC in Sweden), school nurse, GP or a paediatric clinic if your child has slept badly for a long period, has very troublesome sleep problems, is troubled by nightmares during the day too, seems afraid to fall asleep, often has night terrors, or still has night terrors after puberty. If your child often snores, breathes heavily, sleeps restlessly with a lot of sweating or seems to pause breathing during sleep, contact your GP or child health centre. In Sweden, call 1177 for advice day and night, and 112 if your child is struggling to breathe.
FAQ
Is it normal for a three-year-old to wake every night?
It is common for young children to wake sometimes, especially with colds, changes or fears. If it lasts a long time and affects their days, talk to your child health nurse.
Should you wake a child having a night terror?
No. Stay calmly nearby, make sure your child cannot get hurt and wait until it passes. Your child usually falls back asleep and remembers nothing.
Why do children have nightmares?
Nightmares are a normal part of development. They become more common with changes like starting preschool or moving, with fever and after frightening experiences.
How long does a night terror last?
An episode lasts from one to twenty minutes according to 1177. Night terrors usually disappear before puberty.
Keep reading
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How Much Sleep Does a Child Need? A Simple Chart From 1 to 16
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When Do Kids Stop Napping? Signs, Quiet Time and Bedtime
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